Janey's Final Moments With Sid
by Mike9305
Summary: Janey's life and final moments at the Phillips residence...this is her tale.


It was a bright, beatiful, summer day. Mrs. Davis was out in the yard tending to her seasonal eggplants, as usual, while her two children played in some random neighbor's dog crap. Next door was the Phillips residence, home to a most charming family. The eldest of two children, Sydney "Sid" Phillips (What the hell were his parents thinking?), had just woken up from his 10 hour daily hibernation state, and was beckoned to come eat some pop-tarts by his loving mother.

"SID! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, THE POP-TARTS ARE GETTIN' COLD!" Mrs. Phillips hollered up the stairs. She then took her stash of crack and practically flew into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. Sid groggily sat up from his usual butt-in-the-air sleeping position and ran out of his room, slamming his door behind him so his annoying brat of a little sister Hannah wouldn't come snooping in there. A pair of eyes opened from the darkness of under his bed, and out crawled a mechanical-spider type toy with a baby doll head attached at the top (with an eye missing). The blue eyes scanned the asshole's room, and tapped the boy's metal bedframe in morse code. Soon, mutant toys of all sorts crawled out from the smelly depths of Sid's bedroom, and all got together to play BINGO.

In the bedroom over, little Hannah Phillips was having a tea party with her dollies, Barbie and some other fat, headless stuffed doll.

"Barbie, you're looking so pretty in that dress!" Hannah said politely. "...Please have sex with me."

"HANNAH! You're cereal's down here!!" Sid screamed from downstairs. Hannah looked at her dolls. "I'll be right back, ladies." She stood up and started walking down the stairs when her older brother zoomed up the stairs, and shoved her aside. She rolled down the rest of the stairs, screaming.

"Whoops, sorry!" Sid called, and took a peek into Hannah's pink, girly bedroom. An evil smirk came across his face.

"Oh shit," Barbie thought as Sid entered Hannah's domain. He wrapped his grubber fingers around Barbie and yanked her from her seat. He laughed maniacally and ran into his room, slamming the door behind him. He ripped the doll's head off and dropped it into his underwear, right next to his dingaling. Oh, how she wanted to BITE IT. But she couldn't risk it. It smelled like crap in his underwear, and she suffocated within minutes. Sid laughed as he felt a lump roll around his undies, and tosses the doll's body aside. Hannah returned upstairs and looked at Sid, giggling to himself. She looked into her room, and saw Barbie was missing. She screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into Sid's room.

"Sid! Where's Barbie?!"

Sid laughed and picked Barbie's body up. "She had a little...'accident'..."

"AHHHHHHH!!!" She grabbed Barbie's body and ran away crying. That was her newest doll she had just gotten a few days ago and ALREADY Sid ruined it. She locked her bedroom door, sobbing.

A few hours later, Hannah was on her way to Al's Toy Barn. She was still moping about after what her brother had done.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Mr. Phillips said, drunk as a seashell," Daddy'll buy yous a nice dolly, and whip that boy's ass when I get h-home..." He hit the brakes, opened his window, and threw up on an old woman sitting by her lonesome at a bus stop. She shook with disgust and looked up at Mr. Phillips.

"SORRY, LADY!" He laughed, throwing his empty beer can at her and speeding off. "WOOHOO!"

"Daddy, slow down!" Hannah pleaded as they ran over a little girl walking her puppy. Blood and guts splattered all over the windows, and the puppy's head smashed into Hannah's window, cracking it. She screamed and Mr. Phillips swerved into the Al's Toy Barn parking lot. They returned a half hour later with a "Best Friend Janey Doll," a sued up dolly with blonde hair, a blue dress, and yeah.

"Oh, I love her!" Hannah kept saying as she hugged her new dolly on the ride home. She squeezed the doll's stomach a few times.

"Mama! Mama!" It said. _IF YOU KEEP FREAKING SQUEEZING MY BABY TUBES I WON'T **EVER **BE A MAMA_ the doll thought angrily. They arrived home and Hannah showed her home to the doll.

_Wow, what a piece of shit,_ Janey thought, keeping her sued smile on.

"Oh, what's that? You love it? Oh, how kind!" Hannah laughed as they went inside.

_Actually, I think it's about as ugly as you, kiddo._

The Phillips' dog, Scud, ran over and tinkled in Hannah's mouth.

"This is Scud," Hannah sighed.

_Charmed, I'm sure._

"Let's go see my room!" Hannah suggested

_Like I have a choice?_

Hannah ran upstairs and showed off her room to Janey.

_Wow. What a dump._

"You think it's beautiful, Janey? Oh, you're too kind!"

"Who the hell's JANEY?" Sid asked, walking in.

"Get away, Sid! She's mine! MINE!!!" Hannah screamed, foaming at the mouth. Sid punched her across the jaw and walked out. The sun was beginning to set.

"I'M GOING TO PIZZA PLANET!" Sid announced, and left the house.

_Thank God that assholes outta the house!_ Janey thought as Hannah squeezed her. _Ugh, right._ "MAMA! MAMA!"

Hannah had a tea party with her dollies. When she left to go to the bathroom for an hour, Janey grabbed a joint from Sid's room and smoked it a little bit before throwing it under Hannah's bed as she returned to play. A few hours later, Hannah and Janey went downstairs to have dinner - cold pizza from 1987.

"MMM! Delicious!" Hannah smiled. "Want some, Janey?"

_Hell no! Get that shit away from my face, bitch!_

"No? Suit yourself!" Hannah finished off her piece and washed it all down with chocolate milk...that went bad in 1958.

The front door was heard opening, and the sound of Sid and the dog in the foyer could be heard.

"Hannah?" Sid called sweetly. Hannah got up and started making her way out of the kitchen

"HEY, HANNAH!" Sid screamed, impatiently.

"What?" She asked, stepping into the foyer.

"Did my package come in the mail today?"

"I don't know..." Hannah said sincerely.

"What d'ya mean 'you dont know'?"

"I. DON'T. KNOW," She said, spelling it out for him. She looked down at Janey and fixed her hair a bit.

_Stop touching my hair, bitch, your hands smell like a baboon's ass._

"Ughh..." Sid sighed, annoyed. He then got an idea! "Oh no!" He said suddenly.

"What?" Hannah asked, half-alarmed.

"It's Janey! She's sick!" He snatched Janey from Hannah, and Janey got a peek inside his backpack at cowering toys in it.

_Don't just sit there and wet yourselves! GET OFF YOUR DAMN ASSES AND HELP ME!!!_

"Hey! No she's not!" Hannah screamed.

_Good work, Einstein._

Sid took off running up his stairs, with Hannah in hot pursuit.

_Oh, God. This is it. I hate you all, so I won't be sad when I die, BITCHES!!_ she thought and laughed to herself as Sid locked Hannah out of his room. He then chopped her head off.

_Good bye, cruel world,_ she thought, then laughed as her body got a new, dino head. She practically wet herself with laughter as Hannah screamed and ran away. Then Sid left. And Janey smoked another joint.

THE END.


End file.
